Ten-shun! All right, you maggots, I’m here to inform you so-called soldiers about a little military exercise that in this army we call “Major Millions.” What’s the matter with you, soldier! You don’t want to win a million smackers on a fun, five-reel, nine-payline progressive slot! Of course you do! Now quit that slack-jawed internet-staring s*** and give me twenty! Spins, that is! Now! (Just don’t forget to make the max bet, Private!)